bluandorange:

bluandorange:

okay but can you imagine like

a week after your truck gets stolen out of the goddamn mall parking lot, you get a knock on the door and there’s fucking Captain America standing there. Says he’s here about your goddamn truck. And for a moment you wonder if he started working for the police now that Shield took a dive, but you don’t say so, you just nod when he describes your truck to you, license plate number, make, model and color, all to a tee. 

And then the weirdest thing happens (weirder than Captain America just showing up at your front door). Captain America starts looking bashful. And then he tells you your truck was lost ‘in the line of duty’. You must still look a little awestruck because he elaborates; he’s the one who took your truck. 

Captain America fucking stole your goddamn truck out of the goddamn mall parking lot.

And he’s going to pay for a new one. And he’s very, very sorry.

He comes with you to the car dealership, too. Because he’s so so sorry, also he gets military discount, so he can help you.
he is so so sorry

the fact that i’ve been planning on making a steve/sam mix that includes sexual healing and danger zone for like a week i feel is 1) amusing as shit to me, 2) a testament to the fact that i can’t make a fanmix that doesn’t just do random things with genres and 3) makes me feel like spending 25 bucks to get satellite radio again for like 5 months was totally worth it.

i could lie and tell you all that the song choices get better, but that might be a lie.

Reblog - Posted 3 days ago

philcoulson:

my dream is for the guardians of the galaxy movie to end with the team getting sucked into a wormhole and then, like, 3/4 of the way through avengers 2 they pop into existence right above tony stark’s head

Reblog - Posted 3 days ago - via / Source with 268 notes

tockthewatchdog:

mattheuphonium:

kim-jong-chill:

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

fabulous 

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

Reblog - Posted 4 days ago - via / Source with 88 notes

Happy 24th Birthday Kristen Jaymes Stewart (April 9, 1990)

grawly:

i dont even interpret “uwu” as a smiley i just read it as “oo woo”

imsirius:

Anthony Mackie as Sam Wilson

queendoms:

a gentle reminder that allison’s death will more than likely only be discussed in terms of:

  • scott’s manpain
  • isaac’s manpain
  • chris’s manpain

and that it’s very likely that little to no time will be devoted to lydia’s grief/trauma over the passing of her best friend because lydia is not allowed to be in a scene unless it’s:

  •  with a character who has sexual feelings for her

or

  • with a character who is emotionally/physically assaulting her
Reblog - Posted 1 month ago - via / Source with 196 notes